What is the god damn deal with old people and Band-Aids (another product that is associated with a brand name). Today I decided to go to the gym and swim some laps. Next thing I know there is an old ass dude flop'n over to the lane next to me. He takes off his shirt to reveal his jungle back, and Arizona skin. Whatever I think to myself as I complete another fucking awesome flip turn (ok, i don't really do flip turns, soon though). Then as I come back to the side where my towel is laying I look down and there it is floating in the water like Buzz Aldrin: A bloody band aide. After that moment, my whole swim was ruined. I couldn't stop thinking about it floating like that. Why was it floating? Shouldn't it sink or rise to the top like a normal under water object? It absolutely had to come from this guy next to me, old people love band-aids. The question then becomes why?. Why do old people use so many band aids? Is it because they have sensitive skin because they are aged? Is it because they are horsing around the nursing home all day, and skinning their knees? Or is it because they are just that bored that when they accidentally hit their head on the table after dozing off during a Dallas rerun they immediately put an unnecessary band aid on themselves. Can you honestly think of the last time you had a band aid on?
My roommate once left one on the counter in the bathroom (used). I immediately lost respect for him, and his family.
ReplyDeleteI cut my finger yesterday. I used a band-aid so I didn't bleed on my stuff.
ReplyDeleteI hear Dwayne Wade loves himself a Band-Aid or two!
ReplyDeleteBand Aids are for pussies. So is bleeding
ReplyDeleteI had to wear a band-aid for two weeks at work because I developed a fungal infection on my face upon which I had to apply high-molar salycylic acid until it died.
ReplyDeleteI told my coworkers I was in a biking accident.
You stupid little cunt! One day old age will hit you like a fucking freight train like it hit me - and hits every single human that has ever lived or will ever live - and then you too will have to stick your sorry ass together with that indispensable gift, the sticking plaster. we fall apart when we get old, douche bag, that's life, and young people need to watch their fucking karma.
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